In Your Shadow
by Jenipher
Summary: A oneshot of Sasuke remenescing about his brother, and life in general. Mild SasuNaru.


_Authors note: A Sasuke one-shot of him reminiscing about his brother Itachi and his life. Different ending then the anime or manga. Mild SasuNaru. Disclaimer? I don't own Naruto. Never have, and never will. Sadly…_

From the day I was born, I was always in your shadow. Fighting and trying hard to be seen by our father. To feel the pride and joy when he would say _'As expected of my son' _to me. Maybe I was blinded by that pride, but I made it my goal to hear those words from him. My attempts were futile for the most part, for how could I ever hope to catch up to your glory? I was always behind you. Constantly running towards your turned back, but never quite reaching it. Even when you abandoned us, me, leaving with your hands stained with blood. Our family's blood. Our parents blood.

My blood.

Your eyes were uncaring that night, as you betrayed us. Fleeing the village, leaving me alone, all alone with no one, no other memories other than your retreating, bloody, back. You told me to hate you, grow strong with hatred for you, and one day seek you out and end your miserable excuse for a life. You said my hatred for you would make me strong, and in your words I hated you. I grew up with hatred. It made me distant from the others, living in a world of darkened shadows with no signs of ending.

That's what you wanted, wasn't it? For me to live in that world, shrouded with the constant thought of what happened that night, and how I would revel in your destruction. Oh yes, I believed that I could grow stronger then you only with hate. Yet still, I trained my ass off, spent every waking moment of my day being the best, and defeating all others in my classes. Warding off all those stupid and pathetic emotions I believed were not needed to become strong and useless for my way of the ninja.

When I got stuck on that pathetic excuse for a team, with a love-struck idiotic _kunoichi_, a perverted, lazy jounin who'd rather read that stupid book than take us seriously, and worse of all, a dead last scaredy cat with a moron complex who always shouted and told us over, and over, and over again about how he was "going to surpass all the Hokages", I thought I was going to fade away, never reach the limit of my power and find you, and that I would die before ever completing my mission as an avenger. However, much to my chagrin, I grew…_attached_ to my team, and found myself slowly giving in to the need for human contact, and dare I say it, emotion for and from another. The shadows were slowly receding as I began to learn of the concept of _feeling_ and _comradery._

I was slowly being pulled out of the Hell you sent me into all those years ago, and I bet that when you left me to become an avenger, and I began to sink into the shadows of loneliness, that neither of us would have ever expected _him_. That ray of sunshine with eyes as blue as the limitless sky that would never leave me alone enough to gloom and sulk over you and what you had done. With each passing day, I found myself growing more attached to him. His optimism was so… intriguing a concept to me, and I wasn't able to understand how he could keep so chipper when all the village hated him. When I hated him.

I didn't notice how attached I'd grown to him, despite my need for power, until that damned mission to _Kiri no Gakure_. When I saw Haku about to attack him, my body made the decision without my mind, and in saving him I unexpectedly brought us closer together, and found it harder to separate myself from him. Bet you didn't count on that turn of events did you? That your _foolish_ little brother could ever climb out of the depth of shadows that you cast him into? I thought I was finally free of you…that is until you showed your damned face in Konoha.

My home.

I had promised myself, and _him_, that I would never turn down the same path as you, but as our encounter proved to me, I was still no match for you, and I fell back into that Hell.

Even as I stood in front of him, at the Valley of the End, having activated the cursed seal in response to his… change in character, I couldn't kill him. Even though it meant gaining the power that would help me defeat you, I couldn't kill him. As I looked down into that face, his features relaxed from his state of unconsciousness, I couldn't do what you had done. Unlike you, he meant more to me then anything in the world. And unlike you, having killed Shishui, your best friend, in search for more power, I found myself unable to kill the one I…the one I loved. I don't remember when it had happened, when I finally realized my feelings for him, but I recall the events leading up to this.

Our rivalry that had sprung out of control, and out of a need to be stronger then the other, our bonds of friendship that grew stronger with each spar, each time together, each mission. The peaceful evenings spent watching Konoha, _our_ home, from the Hokage monuments. I never would have thought that I would be able to understand such emotions, and the pain I felt at leaving him there, alone, near death, and in the rain, caused me more pain then anything _you_ had ever put me through. I would go through the death of our parents a thousands times before ever wanting to hurt him, to have that smile of his be replaced by a frown.

Maybe that's why I didn't leave. Maybe that's why I picked him up in my arms, and took him back to Konoha with the help of Kakashi. Seeing him there, it hurt me. More so then anything in this world of the next. I never left his bedside, even with Tsunades' threats of sedatives, and when he woke up I didn't even have time to apologize. All was settled by that sudden, yet loving kiss. The one that forced all thoughts of darkness and revenge out of my mind, the one that served as to keep me _here,_ the one that made me forget about you. And now, as I stand here with him, Naruto, the Rokudaime, my friend, my love, _my soul_, looking over what has become of _our_ village, I don't regret my decisions. For they led me to him, to here. They led me away from you…

and brought me _home. _


End file.
